If there are 1,500 people in a theater and they're all there to see you, there are no other guys. You're the guy. So it is a monastic life, it is very lonely, if I was prone to loneliness. It's a lot like wrestling, no one can throw a block for you, no one can give you a pass. Nobody can hand the ball off to you, it's you only for an hour and a half every night.

It's always a job when you're the reason they're assembling. If you're just doing shows and you're on a lineup with eight other guys, it's fun, it's great.

I think I made a mistake once... yeah... it was only once.

I'm sure that having acted like an asshole for a great deal of my life, then having played assholes for a good part of my life, created a perception that I'm an asshole.

I've been doing stand-up 29 years; there is no other career when you're finding your stride 30 years into it.

I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.

Every imperfection you have as a man makes a sound as it knifes through satin sheets.