When human beings stop progressing at an endeavor, they stop enjoying it and move on to something else. Not golfers. Masochists, all of them.

Unfortunately, there are no mulligans when it comes to pro football contracts.

What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

I don't care about anybody's perception of me except for the audience.

Joan Rivers is 80 and she's fantastic. She lives in mortal fear of not filling that 1,500-seat room.

When I'm home I'm in much more of a routine like I said, which I like. On the road everything gets flip-flopped.

But if applause throws off your timing, then you're not the kind of comedian I would like to see. All you have to do is stand there and take it.