What bothers me most about today is that we're getting used 2 it. ENOUGH. 2nd amendment must go. Violence has 2 stop. Culture MUST change.

I don't have a nine-to-five brain.

Whenever I don't feel so well, I always try remind myself of the Siamese twin whose brother is gay, whose boyfriend is coming over...and they share the same asshole.

When I'm home I'm in much more of a routine like I said, which I like. On the road everything gets flip-flopped.

I was the youngest kid on my street, the youngest comic in the clubs. I always felt like I was playing catch-up. I was very angry.

You know how to tell if the teacher is hung over? Movie Day.

My career isn't gonna screetch to a halt because some guy in Westbury filmed ten minutes of the show. "Well, we were gonna give you the sitcom but saw that bit you did about the Mormons in Westbury, so get outta here."