I'm oddly not competitive. What I love about show business is there is a home for everyone.

Every time you talk about politics or religion, know that the moment you open your mouth you're isolating 50% of your audience, in any medium. You're taking 50% of people that'll buy tickets to come see you and you're removing them from the equation.

[Joan Rivers] is fantastic. AND SHE'S 80! There's no 80-year-old pitcher. If you're a running back and you're 28 they're like, "Oh, here he goes, turning the corner on his career, he's on the downswing..."

I'm going to eventually shoot my own special, because you have to own your own content. My Turn (2003), that's never been released on DVD.

There seems to be a weird ceiling to being a stand-up as far as acting.

Yogi Berra put it best, "If people don't want to come, we can't stop them."

I started to have panic attacks on stage and my wife just asked, "Why don't you just stop?" I was doing Ghost Whisperer at the time so I was making enough money where I could put it away and she said, "Then, when you go back, you just go up and tell the truth." And it's a lot more tiring.