A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

Nothing in life is fair. Fair is a dirty word and I'll thank you not to use that language around me.

What a terrible thing life can be.

You're driving me NORMAL!

been there done that, bought the t-shirt" Chapter 2

A man can take only so much. Even a phony man like me.

I often find myself in situations where it seems to me like everyone else has read the instruction book