A man who discovers his pants are on fire tends to have very little time to worry about somebody else's box of matches

I was good at being charming, one of my very few vanities.

The whole point of wearing a disguise was to be seen wearing her.

It’s an odd term, 'girlfriend,' particularly for grown persons. And in practice it provides an even odder concept. Generally speaking, in adults it described a woman, not a girl, who was willing to provide sex, not friendship. In fact, from what I had observed it was quite possible for one to actively dislike one’s girlfriend, although of course true hatred is reserved for marriage.

It happens; incompetence is rewarded more often than not.

I had become a perfect fake human, saying the stupid and pointless things that humans say to each other all day long.

For the first time I could remember, I felt weak, woozy and stupid— like a human-being. Like a very small and helpless human-being.