Detective, I don't know where the boyfriend is, really," I said. And it was true, considering tide, current, and the habits of marine scavengers. -Dexter

I was filled with dread at the thought my mind had skipped town and left me behind to pay the rent." --Dexter

Anybody can be charming if they don't mind faking it, saying all the stupid, obvious, nauseating things that a conscience keeps most people from saying. Happily, I don't have a conscience. I say them.

When faced with people who have very limited conversational skills and no apparent desire to cultivate any it's always easier to simply go along.

Our universe is ruled by random whim, inhabited by people who laugh at logic.

I nodded with genuine synthetic sympathy.

What to wear? I could think of no guidelines on what we were wearing this season to a party forced on you to celebrate an unwanted engagement that might turn into a violent confrontation with a vengeful maniac. Clearly brown shoes were out, but beyond that nothing really seemed de rigueur.