I'm pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I'm thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much.

Before you can be all deprecating it's helpful to be self-deprecating.

I like to roast things from the inside out. I like to know what's going on.

I'm pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I'm thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much.

I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government.

With everybody having a Facebook and a Twitter, I feel like regular people consider themselves stars. It's a live, real-time upload of every time we buy a pair of socks, the most telling sign that we're losing our politeness. When you know everything about somebody, you can talk to them any way you please.

Life is tough, and if we don't laugh, we're going to - our head will explode.