I've actually tried to roast somebody that I don't like, and it doesn't go well. Either they're a bad sport or I'm not as funny as I could be.

Last time I was in Canada Celine Dion had just given birth to identical twins. Which is quite an achievement given her age and face.

Instead of running for President, why don’t you try walking on a treadmill?

People are not afraid to be very direct with police. And I think that's part of the problem is that people are angry at the cops and then the cops are stressed out and they, you know, pay it backwards, so to speak.

Maybe I'm corny, but I'm a big believer in second chances.

Life has to keep going, so you can either be a victim the rest of your life and let it drag you down into drugs and alcohol and depression or you can turn it into something good, fun even, you know, and I tell young people who are going through depression that this might be the most important time of your life. This might be what makes you a great artist later on.

I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.