Life has to keep going, so you can either be a victim the rest of your life and let it drag you down into drugs and alcohol and depression or you can turn it into something good, fun even, you know, and I tell young people who are going through depression that this might be the most important time of your life. This might be what makes you a great artist later on.

South Park called...they want their everything back.

I would vote for you for President but I'm against big government.

It's very rare that an older comedian sort of slips into an old-school clunker. You know, you don't hear too much of that anymore.

I'm pretty careful about the things I say ahead of time. I'm thoughtful about not going too far. The only thing you can do occasionally is be too much.

I can't defend someone else's jokes. I can only defend my jokes, and I have to live with my own jokes.

Comedy comes from pain, and no one knows that better than this woman Roseanne Barr—who was molested as a child. Uch. That poor molester. Roseanne never got over it. She felt violated. She had trust issues. She never got the candy he promised her.