I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.

A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me.

Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.

I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, "He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia." And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.

Testosterone makes you completely out of control, but that's okay.

It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.

If I could make crazy money just doing stand-up, that's what I would do.