I don't even think people really understand how you can get pregnant or when you get pregnant. I still have questions about that.

There's something grand and revolutionary still about [women] traveling alone. There are some parts of the world where you can't.

I think that, for me, my favorite thing to do is perform standup onstage. Everything else I do is for the exposure to do more stand-up onstage, and for the money, and for the health insurance.

My brain does like the idea of hosting a late-night show. My brain does like the idea of maybe having a show about me. So, I often pitch ideas and work on scripts and do that just because I may not be right about how I feel, so why not just do this, and if it happens and I got my own show, well maybe I would really end up falling in love with it.

[Congress] can just make [Mitt] Romney president. And we'd be like, "All right, fine."

[Twitter] certainly doesn't hurt me. I'm not in any pain over any of the things I see. I'm just more disappointed.

Any expectation is what pain is.