My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.

I don't understand why every single person in Congress isn't standing up and going, "He [Donald Trump] is in bed with Russia." And then they could just lock their arms and not let him in.

I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.

I stay on [Twitter] because I deserve to.

[Congress] can just make [Mitt] Romney president. And we'd be like, "All right, fine."

I don't know if I don't believe in monogamy. I think I do believe in it depending on the person or situation or something.

I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay."