A lot of times that I'm single is not for a lack of anyone being interested; it's me.

Not everyone is there to get an abortion. Your body is like a car that has needs and women's bodies constantly need a level of care that men don't.

I want to be one of those cool people that's like, "What is Twitter?" and just be totally blind to it.

I have no choice sometimes, but there's something about being alone. When I'm alone I might not speak for 24 hours, but you're totally seeing things. It's a pretty cool experience.

Admittedly, the masturbation story is just a "Hey, this is one of my best-of's, I'll throw it in the special." But the grandmother stuff, really, I feel like is part of the theme and part of the best way to end the story that I'm telling with the special.

I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.

People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."