It's like, "Women can't handle things because they're always sad. That's estrogen." Men brag about testosterone, which makes them completely out of control too. On the other end of things, it's like, "Oh it was just testosterone. He got in a bar fight." Why is that better than crying at work?

[Congress] can just make [Mitt] Romney president. And we'd be like, "All right, fine."

I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.

It [sex-ed] was such a slow rollout for me. I just didn't know what the hell was happening.

I just try to live a moderate life of always checking and trying to be the best person I can be and I'm in therapy and am always working on something.

[Twitter] is not totally where I go anymore to sell myself as a concept, as a comedian, because it moves too fast.

You never know anymore if you'll see something you don't want to see, if you're jealous of something, if you're going through a breakup and you see something, so I just don't even look at those things any more [ in Instagram].