I tried, it was hard, I quit, the end. Story of my life.

The living room is a monument to my impulsive spending habits. I've got more than two hundred DVDs, including cinematic greats such as Monkey Bone, Corkey Romano, and A Night at the Roxbury, leading me to believe not only do I have awful taste in films, but I also have a Chris Kattan fixation. What I don't have is $4000 earing intrest in a money market account.

Some people are destined to be deep thinkers. I am not one of those people.

I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.

I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.