I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.
I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.
As I examine my life through this book, I can't help but wonder if my mother was right. Maybe I really was what I ate. And maybe if she'd let me eat a little more sugar, I'd have come out sweeter.
Owning a dog is slightly less expensive than being addicted to crack.
Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.
Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.