I still believe in the Holy Trinity, except now it's Target, Trader Joe's, and IKEA.

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

I've always been able to cook Italian food. That's in my blood because I'm half Sicilian.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

I'm such a fangirl when it comes to other writers. I read 250 books a year, and I'm always talking up books by other authors.

No matter how happy anyone is with their choices, I believe it's human nature to wonder about the path not taken.

I’m busy sorting through our new collection of rhinestone jewelry. Should anyone be in the market for sparkly accessories the size of a hubcap, this is the place to get them. Earlier today, a customer picked up one of the enormous chandelier-style offerings and asked, 'Do those be genuine rhimestones?' I couldn’t even begin to explain everything that was wrong with her sentence, so I simply replied, 'Yes. They do be genuine.