I yearn to be a woman of more depth, but I'm not so fond of the path I'd need to follow to get there.

Quinn Cummings is a master story-teller and her book is nothing short of delightful. Her insights into topics like celebrity, parenting, and cats with a taste for homicide are pithy and uproarious and not to be missed. Notes from the Underwire is charming, hilarious, and just snarky enough to be ultimately satisfying.

I’m instantly mortified by my fat, uncontrollable mouth, but that’s when it occurs to me that my humor is a self-defense mechanism. Even though I may come off like a stark raving asshat, being funny is the most important tool I have to stay sane. The ability to say what I think is the key to allowing me to feel in control.

Maybe I've moved to the dark side, but it's clean and nice and we never run out of toilet paper.

Ambien might have mentally just tossed my salad. WITH CROUTONS.

Were I forced to describe this woman in one word, that word would be...herpes.

Fortunately, all it takes for us to be of one mind is some buttercream frosting.