I'm very detail oriented. I think that's why people enjoy my memoirs - because I tend to remember everything.

Although I get a lot of specialty services like wraps, scrubs, and mustache removal, my favorite is the simple manicure/pedicure. They work on your hands and feet at the same time while you sit in a vibrating chair. I call it the sorority girls version of a threesome.

I would rather receive a Pap smear from Captain Hook than venture out on New Year's Eve.

No, it's not a 'corpse thing.' I feel I lack the emotional capacity to deal with those in mourning.

As a reader, I notice political views regardless of whether or not the book is fiction. What annoys me is when said views do nothing to advance the narrative.

When did the cell phone become a license to be rude? And why must I be subjected to your personal conversations?

Really? If I could hate my trainer? That would be ideal. I'd prefer to despise this person with the fire of ten thousand suns. So when I walk - nay, crawl - out of here at the end of my workouts, I want to lull myself to sleep by picturing my very talented and inspirational trainer getting hit by a bus. A bus that I am driving.