This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.

When I hug her, I notice she's still wearing yesterday's false eyelashes. Mom? You know those come off with a little makeup remover and a cotton pad?" I'm not taking them off." Why not?" I spent $180 on that makeup job and I refuse to wash my face until I get my money's worth.

You know what it was like? It was like thinking I was heading to a surprise party and instead it was a surprise pap smear.

Writing is something that I've always loved. That stems from my love of being a reader.

I'm a humor writer, so I don't always present myself in the best light.

You can't all of a sudden go to sleep one night and wake up Martha Stewart. It's bit by bit by bit.

This is terrific! What fun! Maybe tomorrow I can go to the prom with my brother. The day after, perhaps I can wear white pants and unexpectedly get my period.