The single greatest gift you could ever give the world is to be exactly who you are.

It's okay if you can't see what you're doing, cuz even when your eyes are open, you can't see what you're doing.

If you have something floating in your drink, then you know you're ready. Seriously, what's in my drink? Aliens. Still gonna drink it.

There’s no cure for ugly, but you can make yourself into a human optical illusion.

You can always care [about what others think]. You probably always will care. But don't let it dictate your choices and what you want and what you want to accomplish and who you want to be. Don't let anyone get in the way of that. That's being yourself.

If you want to be like someone, there's nothing stopping you from modeling yourself after someone else. You don't have to BE them - that's not your job in life. Your job in life is not to be someone else. You just want to be as good at being you as that person is at being them.

You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?