I don't recommend washing your face. Because you might drown.

Make it look like your skin is not so angry at you for your bad life choices.

You are constantly changing & evolving through your experiences, how you interpret your experiences, and how you choose to do things in the future based on those experiences.

You've already got a natural glow, kind of of, cuz you're drunk, so just make it like way more intense, everybody loves someone who's so red in the face. Are you embarrassed? No, I'm just excited to be here. I'm normal, I swear. Do you want my phone number?

Make your face not look like your face by piling on like the heaviest makeup you can find and do it with some kind of brush that won't judge you.

Here's a helpful life tip. Stand by things that are white cuz it makes you look less white.

Don't ever, ever, ever give up, because you're here for a reason, even if it's just to laugh at cats on the internet.