Can we go to work now? Because we're about a minute away from breaking out the ice cream and talking about our feelings, and I don't think we can come back from that.

This is a woman you've known less than twelve hours. It took you a year to pick out a couch, but you're seriously—" “Yes,” Roger said. “She's the one.

Broaden your horizons. They're the only ones you'll ever have, so make the suckers as wide as possible.

You’ve always been nuts. That’s fine. I can deal with nuts. But lately, you’ve been depressed nuts. I can’t deal with that. - Anthony

Of course it hurt you neanderthal! See that? Thats blood. If theres blood, theres pain. Its like smoke and fire.

Really, The smart thing to do was to stop dating and get a cat.

• The key to fighting is never to fight unless the cause is so great that you couldn’t bear not to defend it and the losses you are going to suffer are things that you could afford to lose. If you do fight, the thing to remember is that it is going to hurt because that is what happens in a fight and you might as well reconcile yourself to it in the beginning and then it will not matter when it happens