The guitar's still around me. I slip it off and put it down. I want to feel him. To feel his breath on my neck. The warmth of his skin. To feel something other than sadness. Hold me, I tell him silently. Hold me here. To this place. This life. Make me want you. Want this. Want something. Please
Jennifer DonnellyThe rain comes down harder as I write. It sheets off the roof in torrents. I wish it would pound against me. Pound the life from my body. The flesh from my bones. The pain from my heart.
Jennifer DonnellyMost of the mess that is called history comes about because kings and presidents cannot be satisfied with a nice chicken and a good loaf of bread.
Jennifer DonnellySometimes, when you catch someone unaware at just the right time and in just the right light, you can catch sight of what they will be.
Jennifer DonnellyVoice is not just the sound that comes from your throat, but the feelings that come from your words.
Jennifer DonnellyOne expects decent people to stand up for the good of all. Decent people shut their doors and hide behind them as decent people do. Massacres could never happen if it weren't for decent people.
Jennifer DonnellyOn those nights, the words were for me alone. They came up unbidden from my heart. They spilled over my tongue and spilled out my mouth. And because of them, I, who was nothing and nobody, was a prince of Denmark, a maid of Verona, a queen of Egypt. I was a sour misanthrope, a beetling hypocrite, a conjurer's daughter, a mad and murderous king.
Jennifer DonnellyCome on you raver, you seer of visions, come on you painter, you piper, you prisoner, and shine.
Jennifer DonnellyThere is only one thing I fear now-love. For I have seen it and I have felt it and I know that it is love, not death, that undoes us.
Jennifer DonnellyThere is an advantage to be found in most everything that happens to you, even if it is not immediately apparent.
Jennifer DonnellyWhy do you write?' Because I love words and stories so much. Because I would be grief stricken every day of my life if I couldn't write. Because I'm obsessed and compelled. Because I'd be utterly useless at anything else.
Jennifer DonnellyI listened as the words became sentences and the sentences became pages and the pages became feelings and voices and places and people.
Jennifer DonnellyI don't like hope very much. In fact, I hate it. It's the crystal meth of emotions. It hooks you fast and kills you hard. It's bad news. The worst. It's sharp sticks and cherry bombs. When hope shows up, it's only a matter of time until someone gets hurt.
Jennifer DonnellyThey sat quietly together for a few minutes, Joe holding Fiona's hand, Fiona sniffling. No flowery words, no platitudes passed between them. Joe would have done anything to ease her suffering, but he knew nothing he might do, or say, could. Her grief would run its course, like a fever, and release her when it was spent. He would not shush her or tell her it was God's will and that her da was better off. That was rubbish and they both knew it. When something hurt as bad as this, you had to let it hurt. There were no shortcuts.
Jennifer DonnellyI play until my fingers are blue and stiff from the cold, and then I keep on playing. Until I'm lost in the music. Until I am the music--notes and chords, the melody and harmony. It hurts, but it's okay because when I'm the music, I'm not me. Not sad. Not afraid. Not desperate. Not guilty.
Jennifer DonnellyAirports should all belong to the same country. The country of Crappacia. Or Bleakovania. Or Suckitan.
Jennifer DonnellyI know it is a bad thing to break a promise, but I think now that it is a worse thing to let a promise break you.
Jennifer DonnellyMy father had put these things on the table. I looked at him standing by the sink. He was washing his hands, splashing water on his face. My mamma left us. My brother, too. And now my feckless, reckless uncle had as well. My pa stayed, though. My pa always stayed. I looked at him. And saw the sweat stains on his shirt. And his big, scarred hands. And his dirty, weary face. I remembered how, lying in my bed a few nights before, I had looked forward to showing him my uncle's money. To telling him I was leaving. And I was so ashamed.
Jennifer DonnellyI grew up on a mixed diet of mass and class, and I still read that way. I hate it when people apologize for what they read. Some bestsellers aren't exactly literary. So what? They're fun and rip-roaring, Who instituted the book police and why do we have to answer them? Grrrrr!
Jennifer DonnellyA new word. Bright with possibilities. A flawless pearl to turn over and over in my hand, then put away for safekeeping.
Jennifer DonnellyFunny, 'ow you can 'old a jewel in your 'and, and toss it away, and not even know what you 'ad until it's gone.
Jennifer DonnellyBecause in a small dark room, a broken child lies on a filthy bed and stares up at a high window. He waits for me, too. And IโI who have failed at everything and have failed everyoneโI must not, I cannot, I will not fail him.
Jennifer DonnellyThings are NEVER what they seem, Pa, I thought. I used to think they were, but I was wrong or stupid or blind or something. Old folks are forever complaining about their failing eyesight, but I think your vision gets better as you get older. Mine surely was.
Jennifer DonnellyHe's wearing boots, a kilt, and a long-sleeve tee. No coat, even though it's December. Beautiful people don't need coats. They've got their auras to keep them warm.
Jennifer DonnellyBecause just for a few seconds, someone else hurts, too. For just a few seconds, I'm not alone.
Jennifer DonnellyThere were times when I lifted my face to the sky, stretched my arms wide to the winter night, and laughed out loud, so happy was I. The memory of it makes me laugh now, but not from happiness. Be careful what you show the world. You never know when the wolf is watching.
Jennifer DonnellyBecause I'm on the phone, Mom!" "Fooling around with your friends again! Who is that?" "Ahmadinejad." "Oh, my goodness! What is he saying?" "That he wants to see Jeezy at the Beacon tonight. Putin's going too. He scalped a ticket from Kim Jong Il. All tha gangstas are going." "Don't be so fresh, young man!" "Gotta go," he says to me. "Enemy forces have dropped a Momshell." "Fall back, solider. Over and out.
Jennifer DonnellyI play until my fingertips are raw. Until I rip a nail and bleed on the strings. Until my hands hurt so bad I forget my heart does.
Jennifer DonnellyNamaste. It was a Nepalese greeting. It meant: The light within me bows to the light within you.
Jennifer DonnellyFor the first time in a long time, he didn't think of the past. And of all the things he'd lost. He thought only of the present, and what he had. And how it was so much more than he deserved. And he prayed then that he would never, ever lose it.
Jennifer DonnellyMen are the weak ones, luv. Didn't you know? Oh, you make a lot of noise, but its the women who are strong. Where it counts. In 'ere.
Jennifer DonnellyI love you, too... I won't ever leave you again. I promise. I kept that promise. For love him I did. For nearly two years I spent almost every waking hour with him. Until he was taken from me. But I never left him. And I never will.
Jennifer DonnellyHe pressed himself into me and kissed my neck, and it was as if everything strong and solid inside me, heart and bones and muscle and gut, softened and melted from the heat of him.
Jennifer Donnelly