Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

I've got a hat face. My mother always said I've got a hat face

I am not sure gender ever won't be an issue in comedy, because I think that women do have different priorities in some respects.

I've just got crap hair. Although I inherited a lot of stuff from my dad, including giant knees, I didn't get his good, thick hair. I got my mother's thin, wispy, non-event hair instead.

The only way to go on holiday is with your expectations at ground level. Convince yourself before you go that the weather's going to be dreadful and there will be nylon sheets. You'll then be pleasantly surprised.

As a rule, wearing a bigger pair of jeans looks better than squishing yourself into a pair of jeans that used to fit before you gave up smoking.

I can eat a man, but I'm not sure of the fiber content.