As a five-year-old in Berlin in 1965, I didn't know that funny women existed. It wasn't until I got back to England that I realised women could be funny.

I have always had a need for attention but didn't plan to be a comic.

Well, I really don't like heights. I don't get on the top deck of a double-decker because that's a bit high for me. I always feel that I'm going to hurl myself off, so heights are a problem.

My older sister is bossy, my brother is a stirrer and me - well, I am perfect!

The comedy I like the best is comedy I can't do, stuff that doesn't touch my arena.

Without fake tan I have the skin tones of a dead jellyfish.

I'm very bad at having heroes. I don't rate anyone particularly highly because I'm so snide and competitive and not very nice.