I don't want to be remembered. I want the nice words when I can hear them.

When I hit around 65, 66, I started to feel tremendous worth and incredible personal esteem. I was becoming very cognisant of my contribution to the American spirit of helping your fellow man and all of the good stuff.

I turned down 'Some Like It Hot.' See how smart I am? I felt I couldn't bring anything funny to it. The outfit was funny. I don't need to compete with the wardrobe.

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I'm an entertainer for 75 years.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.

This is the pain pacemaker. I've got a battery under my skin. From that battery are two electrodes that go into the spine where they cut bone away to accommodate it. Now I put on the power here. If I have the pain, the stimulator starts. It's tingling, like when your foot falls asleep, you know?

I've had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.