A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

I get paid for what most kids get punished for.

Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them.

Adrenaline is wonderful. It covers pain. It covers dementia. It covers everything.