I tell young comics, 'Do you want this badly enough? It's there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I'm going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.'

A lot of people resent that I've been in someone's life for 50 years. Why shouldn't people have an affection for me and what I've done? Didn't I have to be genuine for them to buy into what I did? There are children who grow up today who will not have that when they're 55 years old. With whom will they have it? Name an example for me.

I've had the greatest respect for my work in this country by Americans. Critics have no brains.

You might as well like yourself; just think about all the time you're gonna have to spend with you.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

I tell young comics, 'Do you want this badly enough? It's there. But you have to go get it. And if you think I'm going to give you the key to the lock of that door, there is no key, there is no lock, and there is no door.'