Gambling is part of the human condition. I love it. I have the best time gambling. I've been winning fortunes, and I've been losing them.

People think I'm against critics because they are negative to my work. That's not what bothers me. What bothers me is they didn't see the work. I have seen critics print stuff about stuff I cut out of the film before we ran it. So don't tell me about critics.

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I'm an entertainer for 75 years.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

The doc told me I had a dual personality. Then he lays an 82 dollar bill on me, so I give him 41 bucks and say, 'Get the other 41 bucks from the other guy.'

You may catch more flies with honey than vinegar, but you'll get them to work harder if you use a flyswatter.

I've had great success being a total idiot.