I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.

Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

When I was onstage doing the work, adrenaline killed the pain because I never hurt in front of an audience.

Make film, shoot film, run film. Do something. Make film. Shoot anything.

Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I.

You might as well like yourself; just think about all the time you're gonna have to spend with you.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.