I think the cartoons that they're children are watching, particularly 'The Simpsons,' they're OK. I think that the adult audience is making much too much of the danger that they imply. That's not the case. The danger for children today, honey, is the news. Keep them away from news on television.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.

If you think childlike, you'll stay young. If you keep your energy going, and do everything with a little flair, you're gunna stay young. But most people do things without energy, and they atrophy their mind as well as their body. You have to think young, you have to laugh a lot, and you have to have good feelings for everyone in the world, because if you don't, it's going to come inside, your own poison, and it's over.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

Don't you understand how dramatic it is to be a comic? To be a fool, to get people to laugh at this show-off? Milton Berle could take Laurence Olivier and stick him under the table if he wanted to. And so could I.

I have some very personal feelings about politics, but I don't get into it because I do comedy already.