Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there's no humor.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

I have a loyalty that runs in my bloodstream, when I lock into someone or something, you can't get me away from it because I commit that thoroughly. That's in friendship, that's a deal, that's a commitment. Don't give me paper - I can get the same lawyer who drew it up to break it. But if you shake my hand, that's for life.

People hate me because I am a multifaceted, talented, wealthy, internationally famous genius.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

Comedy is a man in trouble. And without it, there's no humor.

If you're an old pro, you know how well you're doing when you're doing it, and your inner government spanks you if you're not doing well.