Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

Every man's dream is to be able to sink into the arms of a woman without also falling into her hands.

A woman doing comedy doesn't offend me, but sets me back a bit. I, as a viewer, have trouble with it. I think of her as a producing machine that brings babies in the world.

Pity? You don't want to be pitied because you're a cripple in a wheelchair? Stay in your house!

I never tell an audience what they can expect. I never have and I never will. I'm an entertainer for 75 years.

When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.

I really am opinionated, but not for long. I have found myself coming off of what I think of something because the guy I'm talking to makes better sense than I am. I have so many points of view, I can't keep track of 'em, because I talk to too many people... I'm not so opinionated that I won't budge.