Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

Where lipstick is concerned, the important thing is not color, but to accept God's final word on where your lips end.

I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

That's why breakups take two or three times- to build up immunity.

Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.

The worst thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. You never see anybody on TV just sliding off the front of the sofa, with potato chip crumbs all over their shirt.

Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant.