People should get married because they have finally seen the folly of being single: "Oh, this is all just kind of a bad magic trick. I just keep bending over to reach for this wallet on a string. How much longer am I gonna do that?"

You can tell what was the best year of your father's life, because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.

What I don't understand is how women can pour hot wax on their bodies, let it dry, then rip out every single hair by its root and still be scared of spiders.

The padded outfits, the bad scripts, the phony-looking sets... he dealt with it all. He had to. He was Superman.

People who read the tabloids deserve to be lied to.

A movie is kind of like being the captain of a ship, which is nice, but when I perform by myself it's just surfing on the water and nobody really knows what happens.

Men want the same thing from their underwear that they want from women: a little bit of support, and a little bit of freedom.