I can't eat chicken and look at strippers at the same time.

There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.

Responsible, who wants to be responsible? Whenever something bad happens, it's always, who's responsible for this?

Fear of success is one of the new fears I've heard about lately. And I think its definitely a sign that we're running out of fears. A person suffering from fear of success is scraping the bottom of the fear barrel.

I know there are kids out there, I want to make sure they all know that driving without braking is not something I recommend, unless you have professional clown training or a comedy background, as I do. It is not something I plan to make a habit.

The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.

Women go after doctors like men go after models. They want someone with knowledge of the body. We just want the body.