There's more to life than making shallow, fairly obvious observations.
Boy, I miss the days they made toys that could kill a kid.
Folks who go through the tabloids ought to have to be lied to.
Cry when you get a Golden Globe. Then you can get an Oscar nomination.
What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?
Surveys show that the #1 fear of Americans is public speaking. #2 is death. That means that at a funeral, the average American would rather be in the casket than doing the eulogy.