I know I'm not going to understand women. I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax, pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

Marriage is like a game of chess except the board is flowing water, the pieces are made of smoke and no move you make will have any effect on the outcome.

Men, as an organization, are getting more women than any other group working anywhere in the world. Wherever women are, we have men looking into it.

People on dates shouldn't even be allowed out in public.

The blessing in life is when you find the torture you are comfortable with. That's marriage, it's kids, it's work, it's exercise. Find the torture you're comfortable with and you'll do well. You've mastered that, you've mastered life.

What's the point of dating without games? How do you know if you're winning or losing?

The first real thought that I had of something that I might do was to write for car magazines, because I always had a car thing.