Festivus for the Restivus!

[I like to] engage with funny people, or weird people, or, you know, kind of off people. [Whereas when I meet] anybody who's ... normal ... I'm not curious, I'm not interested.

Have you ever seen that guy who has the record for fattest man in the world? Bob Hughes, the fattest man in the world... 1400 pounds. Ladies and gentlemen, the man has let himself go.

What would the world be like if people said whatever they were thinking, all the time, whenever it came to them? How long would a blind date last? About 13 seconds, I think. Oh, sorry, your rear end is too big. That's ok, your breath stinks anyway. See you later.

The best revenge is living well.

The less you know about a field, the better your odds. Dumb boldness is the best way to approach a new challenge.

When men are growing up and they're reading about Batman, Spiderman, Superman ... those are not fantasies ... they're options.