Government is like physics, you know - for every action, there's a reaction.
It seems that elections today are more popularity than they are substantial issues.
I don't want Democrats in the boardroom and I don't want Republicans in the bedroom.
I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.
Marijuana is to rock and roll what beer is to baseball, so imagine if they took away beer at the ballgame.
I will criticize President Obama on this level: it's a good thing I'm not president because I would prosecute every person that was involved in that torture. I would prosecute the people that did it. I would prosecute the people that ordered it. Because torture is against the law.