There is much more to being a patriot and a citizen than reciting the pledge or raising a flag.

There are a lot of good causes out there, but they can't possibly all be served by government.

I'm against the draft. I believe we should have a professional military; it might be smaller, but it would be more effective.

I ain't got time to bleed.

I love fat people. Every fat person says it's not their fault, that they have gland trouble. You know which gland? The saliva gland.

I live by the golden rule: Treat others as you'd want them to treat you.

Government is like physics, you know - for every action, there's a reaction.