Never, ever point out that a woman is eating too much.

Whining is a form of manipulation. People will give anything to make you shut up.

Greasy food might not be good for your body, but it does wonders for the soul. A healthy diet may prolong your life, but what would you have to live for? What is the point of living to a hundred if you have to subsist on bland food? One may as well die of boredom.

We often reward mediocrity because it is comforting. If they can do it, anyone can do it.

Someday you will look back on all the awful stuff that's happening to you, and fondly smile. Doesn't say much about the future, does it?

That's really what the mall is all about: money. At the mall the rule is: Credito, ergo sum - I shop, therefore I am.

Everyone declares that love is irrational, and yet everytime this statement is proven correct, they profess amazement. They seem to assume that love will make an exception in their case. It never does.