I have a theory that the secret of marital happiness is simple: drink in different pubs to your other half.

The aristocrat, when he wants to, has very good manners. The Scottish upper classes, in particular, have that shell-shocked look that probably comes from banging their heads on low beams leaping to their feet whenever a woman comes into the room. Aristocrats are also deeply male chauvinist, and ... on the whole they tend to be reactionary.

The letter of application ... should be a masterpiece of fiction, papering over all the cracks. Get it properly typed on decent writing paper. Never let it run over the page, people get bored with reading.

Youve simply got to go on and on with your family and friends and tell them how much you love them because you never know whether theyll be there tomorrow, do you?

People who can write a book usually do.

hurting other people is not excusable because you've been hurt yourself.

Without doubt, keep a diary. From the day you're born, keep a diary, because we all forget things so quickly.