Lots of people look up to Billy Martin. That's because he just knocked them down.

We were like farm animals compared to today's players who are treated like thoroughbreds.

For a hundred years, the owners screwed the players. For 25 years, the players have screwed the owners-they've got 75 years to go.

Forget goals. Value the process.

Baseball players are smarter than football players. How often do you see a baseball team penalized for too many men on the field?

If you had a pill that would guarantee a pitcher 20 wins, but might take five years off his life, he'd take it.

Jim Pagliaroni joined the club tonight and is going to be a welcome addition. He was describing a girl that one of the ballplayers had been out with and said, “It's hard to say exactly what she looked like. She was kind of Joe Torre with tits.” This joke can only be explained with a picture of Joe Torre. But I'm not sure any exist. He dissolves camera lenses.