I'd like to thank my mother, my father, the Academy. I'm sorry. I was thinking of something else.

I have spiritual beliefs that I could literally go out and make an entire comedy routine about, and tour as some sort of spiritual guru, but it kind of goes against that [as] I actually believe the things, so I'm always kind of caught in the middle.

Comedy started out as my hobby and then it became my profession. It's like being on call all the time, like having a built-in beeper. You can't just leave the office and relax because you never know when you'll think of something funny.

I just love to skate. When I put a skate on the ice, I'm free from the world, and I have no problems at all. I am a bird!

I wish everyone could experience being rich and famous, so they'd see it wasn't the answer to anything.

The exit from agony is always there. The tunnel out of the agony sector is always in front of you and yet you don't take it. You don't take it by choice. You want to indulge a lot and be in pain. The easiest way out is to write a list of what you're grateful for. If everybody literally did that before they went to bed at night, there'd be no unhappy people.

A lot of good love can happen in ten years.