I realized, in removing or rewriting these jokes, that often the jokes weren't done or that I was using, for me, the curse words as kind of a crutch. So then I just started writing.

Boutique hotels are great, but they get too cute. Some hotels have shoe polish. It's like, come on, this isn't 1960. No one's polishing their shoes.

You ever buy a book and not read it? You feel almost guilty having it up on a bookshelf. People are like, "Hey, how's that book?" "I haven't read it." "Oh, did you just buy it?" "I've had it since high school." "Well, can I borrow it?" "No."

Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

I grew up 45 minutes outside of Chicago.

I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.

I love my career, but I feel like you've got to babysit a lot of aspects of things. Assuming that things will be handled properly is just naive. But I think that's anyone's life, right? Even if you're running a construction site, it doesn't matter if you've been doing it for 20 years, you're still going to be blindsided by someone's incompetence or indifference.