Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

Why do you have to be out of town to write a postcard? I want a to write a postcard to my neighbor: "I still live near you!" The guy sees me go into my apartment, flips the card over, it's just a picture of me holding a rifle.

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

Faith is something that's - it's hard to articulate. It's - there's - it's not based on logic.

Whenever one of my children says, 'Goodnight, Daddy,' I always think to myself, 'You don't mean that.

Gyms are always packed. The only machine available is the one that simulates the gynecological exam. You know, the Sharon Stone machine.

Be more assertive with what you want to do.