Actually, the reason I look like this is because my father was from Sweden and my mother was Elton John.

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

I'd have to say Sunset Salsa. Nothing against Honey Lime, but it's for losers.

There is the vegetarian Hot Pocket for those of us who don't want to eat meat, but would still like diarrhea.

The amount of guilt you deal with as a parent is pretty profound. It's a constant balancing act. I'm an ambitious person, but when I became a father, ambition had a different hold on me. Providing for my kids was important, but the superficial ambition drifted away.

How dumb do I think the Americans are? I bet you we could sell those idiots water.

I've been doing stand-up for so long, I think 19 years, that I love topics I can also expand on. Once I identify a topic like, say, seafood, which is a big one right now, it's like there are different kinds of tangents I can go on to build a larger chunk.