I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It's like there's the cultural Catholic experience.

The idea of being a practicing Catholic, it's - for me, it's like - I need a lot of practice, you know what I mean?

I kinda expected to turn the bottle and see a recipe. "So that's how you make ice cubes. Apparently you just freeze this stuff. Oh, but you need a tray. That's how they trick you into it."

Thanksgiving is the most complicated meal you can think of. Every night, dinner is just pasta. It's just different shapes of pasta.

The question is the primary form of communication for little kids.

The whole idea of celebrity is flattering - it helps you get into restaurants and stuff - but once you obtain some creative fulfillment, which you do on a nightly basis as a comedian, it's hard to give that up just to be the wacky neighbor on a show.

I do want everyone to feel comfortable. That's why I'd like to talk to you about Jesus.