I was still rooting for Notre Dame.It's like there's the cultural Catholic experience.

Isn't it strange -- when you're single, all you see is couples, and when you're part of a couple, all you see are hookers.

My new years resolution? I will be less laz.

The hardest part of the day is all the stuff after I open my eyes in the morning.

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

Life is a little easier for attractive people. Think about it: if a stranger smiles at you and they’re attractive, you think, ‘Oh, they’re nice,’ but if a stranger’s ugly, you’re like, ‘What do they want? Get away from me, weirdo.

There are some people who know who I am but there are a lot of people that have no idea who I am - which is not to say that that's a bad thing.