Some people that work for Hot Pockets came to my Denver Paramount Theater show. They brought these hot pocket boxes the size of suit cases for me to sign. I wrote "these are WMD's" on the boxes. The HP people seem to have a good sense of humor about all of it.

I'm much more interested in making people laugh than getting applause breaks.

Ironically, to my children, bedtime is a punishment that violates their basic rights as human beings.

In the end, the type of parent you are is going to be something that you carry with you. ... Having multiple kids, it's been a gift in a way. It's keeping the priorities straighter.

My favorite vegetable is the marshmallow.

I should clarify that anyone that goes onstage and makes strangers laugh is insane. So I am insane.

I personally have no interest in being a star or a celebrity. I want my stand-up comedy and how I think as a comedian to be recognized and successful.