“Really, there are two types of people who go bowling. There are people who really, really love bowling. Then there are the people that are like: wouldn’t it be hysterical if we went bowling?”

I've been doing theaters like the Warner for about a year and we've found the earlier you get the tickets on sale the better idea you get on how many shows we will be doing.

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

I think when I started doing stand-up, that's when I really tried to question everything in my belief system which is - I think a pretty important part of being a comedian is really questioning things.

I try to only eat animals that are vegan. I'm probably the opposite of a vegan.

Failing and laughing at your own shortcomings are the hallmarks of a sane parent.

Without Valentine's Day, February would be... well, January.