Anyone know if the shuttles to Hell will have Wifi? Asking for a friend.

I told my son, who's 11, "Look, I don't care if you curse - it's other people that care." So we tried that experiment, and he just cursed all the time. And I was like, "All right, now I care that you curse." You try to have this idealized view, and it's like, "I don't care." But it's just going to cause chaos.

"I got up early because I wanted to." - Nobody

You ever read an article, and at the bottom, it says, 'Continued on page six'? I'm , 'Not for me. I'm done.'

For stand-up comedians that go onstage and get to write and perform and direct, and do all these things, the allure of a television show is still there but if it doesn't offer a level of creative fulfillment, it's oddly unappealing.

My wife's gotten really lazy, or as she calls it, 'pregnant.'

The idea of having a large family, I definitely had a romantic notion of it.